Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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