He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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