he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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