nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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