All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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