I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
