i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
