So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
