Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
