so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
