my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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