when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize