ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
