You're earring is so big in my mouth
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
