i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
