I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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