why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
