Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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