Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I understand Curling. That high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
