Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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