Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
