Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
