I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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