trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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