This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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