Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
