I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
People in love make me want to vomit
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize