He is such a slut. More and more my type.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
