Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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