I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
