That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
