I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize