VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
