I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My feet surprised me
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
