i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
