Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You made out with two different species that night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
