whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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