Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm like, not good at living.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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