There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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