worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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