I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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