I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
