i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
