i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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