I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
