No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
