..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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