Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
