He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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