It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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