the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
