I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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