You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She's just so happy...and so naked.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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