that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize