i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
